When you move house, whether you rent or own, you generally move your phone number and broadband service with you - unless you want to live a comms-free life, of course, which is unlikely, especially if you’re reading this article.
Often this is a nightmarish process of broadband connectivity delays, while others simply dread the set-up process to get everything connected and working as it was before.
So, with the ever helpful Telstra people thinking up helpful ways to boost its bottom line, while makin’ it easy for you, Telstra says it has created a new ‘Telstra TotalMove’ service.
This service is meant to ‘go beyond’ just the usual phone and broadband switchover ‘by assigning a specially trained technician to assist customers with their home technology – from setting up a home Wi-Fi network to setting up and placing their TV and sound system.’
In the next part of Telstra’s media release, the company notes we each own around nine devices, on average, which adds to the complexity and time needed to set up boxfuls of devices, so Telstra slightly changes the name of its TotalMove service here to the ’Telstra Platinum TotalMove service’, which will ‘help take the stress out of your move’.
“We have listened to our customers and created a service that can take the stress out of getting home gadgets up and running after a move. It’s designed to keep pace with the level of technology Australians now pack into their homes.
“It means eligible customers can choose the technical support that meets their need – from providing customers with help when setting up their internet installation themselves, if they are eligible to self-install, to having a dedicated technician who will come to the customer’s house and set up their technology.”
Seeing the dollar signs, Telstra said its customers ‘will now be given three simple choices when they move their Telstra home phone and broadband to new premises, which include technical support that meets their needs’, and that the service had been set up just in time for peak moving season which takes place in the summer months.’
More than half of people surveyed said they find setting up technology like internet, TVs and stereos the hardest thing to set up when moving home. Respondents who felt this way cite not being confident in setting up the technology as the key reason they find it a challenge followed by not having the time to set it up and preferring someone else to do it.”
So, what the heck does it all cost?
And note, this is ‘for Telstra’s existing customers with a Telstra home phone service and/or Telstra home broadband service (ADSL, Cable, Velocity or NBN) moving premises and connecting a Telstra home broadband (ADSL, Cable, Velocity or NBN) and a Telstra home phone service at the new premises’ only.
Well, there are two plans - $250 and $499, as well as a $59 ‘self installation’ option that will see customers get phone support - which is probably something they got for free in the past just by ringing the tech support line - and probably still can, if they know what they’re doing (in which case they’re unlikely to need phone support anyway).
The $250 plan is called the ‘Telstra Platinum Moving Home Professional Installation’.
Telstra describes this as being where one of its technicians ‘will come to the new house and connect the Telstra home phone line, Telstra home broadband, set up the Wi-Fi and connect up to five internet enabled gadgets to the Wi-Fi.’
The $499 is the big kahuna of Telstra Platinum TotalMove Service plans, where a dedicated move team will help you in the following ways:
- Set up, place and connection of a customer’s TV and sound system
- Connect audio-visual devices, such as a DVD player and gaming console
- Connect Internet enabled gadgets, such as computer, smartphone and tablet to the home wireless network (Wi-Fi)
- Set up and install Telstra home broadband, phone line and wireless network (Wi-Fi)
- We’ll carry out an in-home consultation to review your home network and services, including advice on how to get wireless Internet gadgets working around the home.
To ease the pain of a $499 payout to Telstra, the giant telco says that you’ll get ‘continued support after the home visit with one month of Platinum expert technology support for gadgets, computers and Wi-Fi. This support is 24x7 over the phone and online, or in-store during trading hours.’
Telstra also released some stats from its ‘2014 Connected Home Index’ showing how annoying it is to move - which of course anyone who has ever moved already knows what kind of nightmare it is.
You really don’t need to know these stats because you already intuitively know them, but here we go anyway:
- Stress test: One in four Aussies say moving house is more stressful than having a child, getting married or losing their job
- Moving on up: More than a third of Aussies say they have moved at least two or three times in the last five years
- If the stereo fits: 43 per cent of men say arranging furniture is the worst thing about moving house while 59 per cent of women admit hooking up devices is their least favourite part about the whole experience, followed by arranging furniture and setting up white goods
- Packing up, pack it in: Regardless of how old we are, packing up the house is voted the worst part of moving home, followed by buying or renting a new home and unpacking the new house
And, as you’d expect, there’s the small print disclaimer:
Telstra says you need to know that: ‘Additional charges may apply for non-standard installations and additional products.
‘In-home services are not available in all areas.
‘Telstra Platinum TotalMove - Services are not available for some devices, software and operating systems.
‘If your internet is not with Telstra, you must ensure that your internet is active prior to your in-home appointment, and some services requiring internet connectivity may not be available.
‘Service does not include the provision or cost of any software/hardware. Internet and phone line plan and usage charges are additional and you are responsible for any data charges.’
Finally, we don't deny Tel$tra's right to charge for these services, any similar tech support company would charge them, too. Just don't expect to get help on the cheap!
So… providing you can jump through all these hoops, Telstra is makin’ it ea$y for you - doo doo di dah dah moolah.