Tuesday, 09 August 2011 10:57

Cheltenspam gets Snapple Store: crunchy!


Victorian residents of Cheltenham are the next in line to get their very own Apple Store - all from August 13, 2011.

Sorry for spamming up your town's name, Cheltenhammers, but as they say in the music videos, please Cheltenhammer, don't hurt 'em.

Yes, it's time to stop, because with Apple's entrée into yet more of suburbia, it's clearly Cheltenhammertime - especially with Apple being the big hammer that's smashing many of the sales of its competitors into smithereens.

Bound to be really hammered are any authorised Mac resellers in the area, as consumers undoubtedly flock to the 'real' Apple store - not only for Apple's legendary retail presentation - but also because of Apple's incredible customer service - which doesn't include charges for labour just to look at something as you'd find in most computer stores - especially if something, like an iPhone, is already out of warranty.

But authorised Apple resellers aren't really Apple's concern as demonstrated by the sites Apple has chosen for various official Apple Stores, and given there's still plenty of authorised Apple resellers about, they don't seem to be all that worried, either.

Well, until an official Apple Store lobs up in their area, acting as a beacon of truth, light, happiness and the iDevice way to Apple customers who are relieved an Apple Store has arrived at last - without any chance of it being a fake iChinese store - and who will probably wonder why the rest of the retail world sucks so badly once they've seen the Apple way of selling stuff.

So, if you're in Cheltenham, or not too far away, you're probably wondering exactly where and exactly when Apple's iDoors will open to an eager iPublic - most of whom are probably well aware they'll get a free launch day T-Shirt just for turning up, waiting in line and taking a look around on a Saturday morning.

Well, the store is called 'Apple Store Southland', and it's in the Westfield shopping centre at 1239 Nepean Highway in Cheltenham, with the official opening time of 10am on Sat 13 August. 

As you can imagine, especially for a shop where it's always Cheltenhammertime, Apple says its Store is 'the best place to learn about all the latest products from Apple including iPad 2, featuring an entirely new design that is 33 percent thinner and up to 15 percent lighter than the original iPad, iPhone 4, the most innovative phone in the world, and the updated MacBook Air featuring Mac OS X Lion, the world's most advanced operating system.'

It'll also soon be a place to learn all about and buy an iPhone 5, or at least, put your name on a waiting list to eventually get the chance to buy one after the initial stocks run out and the inevitable lengthy waiting process beings again.

Apple also makes certain to remind us all of its aforementioned service, with Apple stating that 'Service is the hallmark of every Apple Store, with dedicated space for technical support, personal training and free workshops', while reminding us all that 'Customers can get free support and advice at the Genius Bar plus amazing Personal Setup for iPad, iPhone, iPod and Mac, so every customer is up and running before they leave the store.'

With more info about Apple's retail stores here, it's time for Apple's standard boiler-plate statement, which states in a statesmanlike manner that: 'Apple designs Macs, the best personal computers in the world, along with OS X, iLife, iWork and professional software. Apple leads the digital music revolution with its iPods and iTunes online store. Apple has reinvented the mobile phone with its revolutionary iPhone and App Store, and has recently introduced iPad 2 which is defining the future of mobile media and computing devices.'

Please, Hammer don't hurt 'em!


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Alex Zaharov-Reutt

One of Australia’s best-known technology journalists and consumer tech experts, Alex has appeared in his capacity as technology expert on all of Australia’s free-to-air and pay TV networks on all the major news and current affairs programs, on commercial and public radio, and technology, lifestyle and reality TV shows. Visit Alex at Twitter here.



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