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Friday, 17 February 2012 19:54

George Lucas goes mad, newly claims Han Solo always shot second

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George Lucas, the man who is being blasted for awfully filming the otherwise wonderful story of Red Tails, is also the man who is AGAIN claiming again that Han Solo shot second, and that Greedo always shot first, showing that Lucas has officially lost it.

George Lucas is a man determined to show the world that, unlike Darth Vader, his dark side is so strong with the force, he can never turn back to good.

His latest travesty is the Red Tails movie, itself a wonderfully fantastic story but, as per usual with George Lucas, one that takes incredibly good actors and then fails to give them a decent script, decent lines or decent anything to actually do - just as happened in the Star Wars movies featuring top-shelf actors like Liam Neeson and Ewen McGregor (although let's not mention Hayden Christensen, ok?).

It's a real shame, because the world otherwise loves George Lucas for the original Star Wars trilogy, but essentially intensely dislikes him for just about everything done since, including endless changes that ruin his greatest legacy.

Mr Lucas also whines that Blade Runner has gone through several edits, but none of the edits to Blade Runner have caused such disgust and angst as the changes that George Lucas has made to Star Wars, because none of those edits were mind-blowingly stupid.

Now, despite George Lucas having publicly worn a "Han Shot First" T-Shirt on several occasions, seemingly in an attempt to mollify Star Wars fans who were distinctly horrified that Greedo was made to shoot first in one of Lucas' brain-dead edits to his original super-successful classic, we get George Lucas yet again re-writing history, newly claiming that Greedo shot first.

Here, in Slashfilm, we read Mr Lucas stating: "The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn't. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down."

Umm'¦ hello Mr Lucas. I certainly never thought Han was a cold-blooded killer. I always imagined that he did it because otherwise, he was about to be taken to Jabba the Hutt for punishment he didn't deserve, and in the dog-eat-dog hive of villainy and scum that was the Mos Eisley Cantina, this is how business was obviously done.

Shoot in self-defense after being explicitly verbally threatened with death, as Greedo did to Han, or be shot by Greedo. Han always shot first, and whether that makes him a cold-blooded killer or not is actually irrelevant. It's what happened, and you, Mr Lucas, are pissing off the planet in a vain attempt at political correctness that no-one, besides yourself, is interested in.  

It certainly wasn't "re-edited after the fact" as Mr Lucas has done on so many occasions now, something that has honestly lost him all credibility with the vast majority of Star Wars fans out there.

George Lucas: thank you for promising to stop screwing around with Star Wars as you recently did. Now, if you could only promise to stop trying to constantly re-write history  as well, balance may well finally be restored to the force.

Unless, of course, this is a pathetic attempt to get us all interested in the re-release of all the Star Wars movies in 3D. We know you've gone 3D because it'll make tons of cash as people flock to see what Star Wars in 3D looks like, and because 3D is the current craze, even though most 3D movies thus-far have been pretty lame.

Honestly, Mr Lucas, we do not need your confected, manufactured controversy to get people interested in Star Wars. We all love Star Wars, Mr Lucas, but many stopped loving you a long time ago, in this galaxy and those far, far away.

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Alex Zaharov-Reutt

One of Australia’s best-known technology journalists and consumer tech experts, Alex has appeared in his capacity as technology expert on all of Australia’s free-to-air and pay TV networks on all the major news and current affairs programs, on commercial and public radio, and technology, lifestyle and reality TV shows. Visit Alex at Twitter here.

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