Home Your IT Mobility Telstra abuses Dave

Telstra has admitted to abusing Dave – not his real name - after graphic footage of this horrific incident was leaked on the internet.

The explicit results seen here show Dave being strapped, beaten, water boarded, dunked in mud, and verbally assaulted.

In support of its manifest torture, Telstra said "that everyone did it at some time," citing recent corroborating evidence from Lonergan Research .

  • 58% of people have damaged or completely broken a 'Dave'
  • 79% of offenders do so by dropping it, with 23% dropping it into water
  • 9% of damaged 'Daves' were done so by having it fall in the toilet
  • Other responses included having 'Dave' stepped on by a camel on holiday and getting raw egg in the charger socket while more popular responses included 'Daves' being driven over, left on the roof of cars, stepped on, sat on, and chewed by family pets

According to Telstra’s Andy Volard, with the decidedly deviant title of ‘Director of Devices’ “Dave deserved it - one tough mudder that we could not crack.”

Dave was taken into custody by a more caring person upon payment of $360 although Telstra said that he could have been had for nothing upfront and $60 per month 'Dave support'.

And in all seriousness

Dave is a 4”, IP67 rated, 1.2GHz dual core powered, Gorilla Glass protected, Android weighing in at 160g and can talk continuously for 8 hours or lie around the house for 375 hours. He is looking for tough love tradies to "bring it on."

FREE WHITEPAPER - REMOTE SUPPORT TRENDS FOR 2015

Does your remote support strategy keep you and your CEO awake at night?

Today’s remote support solutions offer much more than just remote control for PCs. Their functional footprint is expanding to include support for more devices and richer analytics for trend analysis and supervisor dashboards.

It is imperative that service executives acquaint themselves with the new features and capabilities being introduced by leading remote support platforms and find ways to leverage the capabilities beyond technical support.

Field services, education services, professional services, and managed services are all increasing adoption of these tools to boost productivity and avoid on-site visits.

Which product is easiest to deploy, has the best maintenance mode capabilities, the best mobile access and custom reporting, dynamic thresholds setting, and enhanced discovery capabilities?

To find out all you need to know about using remote support to improve your bottom line, download this FREE Whitepaper.

DOWNLOAD!

Ray Shaw

joomla stats

Ray Shaw ray@im.com.au  has a passion for IT ever since building his first computer in 1980. He is a qualified journalist, hosted a consumer IT based radio program on ABC radio for 10 years, has developed world leading software for the events industry and is smart enough to no longer own a retail computer store!

Connect