Home Your Tech Mobility Telstra abuses Dave

Telstra has admitted to abusing Dave – not his real name - after graphic footage of this horrific incident was leaked on the internet.

The explicit results seen here show Dave being strapped, beaten, water boarded, dunked in mud, and verbally assaulted.

In support of its manifest torture, Telstra said "that everyone did it at some time," citing recent corroborating evidence from Lonergan Research .

  • 58% of people have damaged or completely broken a 'Dave'
  • 79% of offenders do so by dropping it, with 23% dropping it into water
  • 9% of damaged 'Daves' were done so by having it fall in the toilet
  • Other responses included having 'Dave' stepped on by a camel on holiday and getting raw egg in the charger socket while more popular responses included 'Daves' being driven over, left on the roof of cars, stepped on, sat on, and chewed by family pets

According to Telstra’s Andy Volard, with the decidedly deviant title of ‘Director of Devices’ “Dave deserved it - one tough mudder that we could not crack.”

Dave was taken into custody by a more caring person upon payment of $360 although Telstra said that he could have been had for nothing upfront and $60 per month 'Dave support'.

And in all seriousness

Dave is a 4”, IP67 rated, 1.2GHz dual core powered, Gorilla Glass protected, Android weighing in at 160g and can talk continuously for 8 hours or lie around the house for 375 hours. He is looking for tough love tradies to "bring it on."

FREE CLOUD BACKUPS MANAGEMENT WEBINAR

Are your technicians spending too much time just managing your clients cloud backups?

Backups are an important part of any IT business but they should not consume more than their fair share of time and money.

Discover how to reduce the amount of time & money spent managing your Cloud Backups during this Free Webinar.

REGISTER FOR FREE WEBINAR!

FREE NETWORKING SERVICES CASE STUDY

As one of the world’s largest social networking services, Facebook handles a lot of user information, and requires input from an astounding range of stakeholders 24 hours a day, 7 days a week — from both inside and outside the business.

Discover how Facebook was helped to connect remote employees, vendors, consultants, and partners to applications and web services quickly and reliably - without risking sensitive data.

GET CASE STUDY!

GET THE IT BUDGET YOU WANT

Explore your Network Treasure Trove to get the IT Budget you want

With Australian businesses projected to spend over $78.7 Billion why does it feel like you can never get the budget you need?.

In most cases your budget will get approved because the proposals are not only technically correct, but also provide good, credible evidence on how the spend aligns with key business objectives.

Did you know that your Network Monitoring tool can help you build a comprehensive business case without an MBA?

HERE ARE 8 TIPS TO GET THE IT BUDGET YOU WANT.

CLICK HERE!

Ray Shaw

joomla stats

Ray Shaw ray@im.com.au  has a passion for IT ever since building his first computer in 1980. He is a qualified journalist, hosted a consumer IT based radio program on ABC radio for 10 years, has developed world leading software for the events industry and is smart enough to no longer own a retail computer store!

Connect

 

 

 

 

Join the iTWire Community and be part of the latest news, invites to exclusive events, whitepapers and educational materials and oppertunities.
Why do I want to receive this daily update?
  • The latest features from iTWire
  • Free whitepaper downloads
  • Industry opportunities