Apple iOS 4.2.1: the witching hour nears, iCommandments?

Alex Zaharov-Reutt
Monday, 22 November 2010 01:19

Your IT - Mobility

As the iPad's iOS 3.2.2 and iOS 4.1 triple or even quadruple witching nears, it is set to usher in a new era of iOS 4.2.1 stability, harmony and iHappiness - or at least, until the iOS 5.0 rumours start! Here's a special list of new iCommandments that could well be coming when iOS 4.2.1 finally hits Apple's download servers.

Normally, when Apple is set to unleash something unto the world, it does so with the utmost secrecy - even when historical cycles suggest new models of existing equipment is due at a particular time.

With iOS 4.2, and now the re-versioned iOS 4.2.1, things were different. For months now, we have all known of iOS 4.x's existence, with many of us using it quite happily, every single day, multiple times a day.

It has brought forth from down upon the mountain of Mount Cupertino all manner of Jobsian commandments programmed in Objective C to display on Jobs' JesusPad, or is it JesusTablet?

Through it we glimpsed a future that few thought would truly take so long to arrive, while offering so very much that the wait, with every passing day, seems ever more eternal.

Soon, however, it will be here at last - whether on November 24 as previously prognosticated, or right up until November 30th itself, with Apple simply meeting its stated deadline. Perhaps it will come somewhere in between, just for fun.

With the iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad almost supernatural in amazing and unique capabilities, could you imagine if a somewhat familiar yet clearly modified set of ancient human laws was applied to today's iDevices and users?

You can imagine Jobs speak all these words, saying: 'I am the Jobs your iCEO, who brought you out of the land of Symbian, out of the house of Windows Mobile.

1. Thou shalt have no other smartphones or tablets before me.

2. Thou shalt not make for yourself any carved iDevice, or any likeness of anything that is in spectrum above, or that is in the fibre-otpic beneath, or that is in the signal strength under the tower; you shall not roam to them nor connect. For I, the Jobs thy iCEO, am a jealous Jobs, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who use Android, but showing mercy to tens of millions of iUsers, to those who love the iPhone, the iPod Touch and the iPad and keep iOS commandments.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Jobs thy iCEO in vain, for the Jobs will not hold him guiltless who takes his patents in vain.

4. Remember the Apple launch days, to keep them holy. Six days you shall tele-labour though iPads and iPhone and MacBook Airs and wait in line, but the seventh day is the Launch day of the Jobs your iCEO and His new iProducts. In its arrival, you shall do no more waiting: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your Farmville cattle, nor your stranger who is within comfort zone, also waiting to buy Apple's latest. For in six days the Jobs made the queues and the media frenzy, the shortages, and all that is in them, and rested the day after launch day. Therefore the Jobs blessed the Launch day and hallowed it.

The essential iOS 4.2.1 iCommandments continue on page two, please read on!