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David Heath
Saturday, 26 December 2009 13:43
Many years ago, in January 1990 to be exact, Spy Magazine published a ‘scientific’ explanation of why Santa really can’t do the things he does on Christmas Eve every year. It seems that the magazine has never published the article online, but that hasn’t stopped hundreds of copies appearing, many even disputing ownership of the words. A copy that offers no such dispute is available here.
The fundamentals of the Spy Magazine argument are that it is simply impossible to visit all the necessary houses in just 30 hours (24 hourly time zones plus the extra time available from working 10pm in the first zone until 5am in the last). If such a journey could be made, the acceleration G-forces would be ruinously fatal and in addition (if that wasn’t enough), the friction with the air would burn up the reindeer, sleigh, gifts and Santa anyway.
Other writers have come to the defence of Santa. On the PhysOrg site, the Research Council of Norway offers a counter-explanation for many of the Spy Magazine points. They also reference a New Scientist article that also defends Santa – this time suggesting he’s an alien!
Roger Highfield, writing on the First Science site offers a wide-ranging look at the issues and some whimsical solutions. Highfield does however make one important observation; no matter what the science says, the gifts continue to be delivered.
To explain Highfield’s equivalent of the weak anthropic principle, authors from North Carolina State University offer a number of potential scientific justifications for the observed phenomenon.
Despite these contributions, there are still a couple of ‘problems.’ Onee ancient, one modern.
Firstly, despite convention and names, it is quite certain that the eight reindeer are all female. Any reindeer herder from Lapland will happily tell you that males shed their antlers in early December.
In more modern times, we have become very aware of the carbon footprint of any activity. David Brooks of the Nashua Telegraph has attempted to make this calculation and the data doesn’t look good!
Finally, there is the enduring, but entirely false accusation that Coca Cola are responsible for the colour of Santa’s suit. Snopes puts that old chestnut to rest by showing clear evidence of red suits long before the earliest red-suit advertising campaign.
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