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Scroogled: Keep calm while Microsoft gouges Google Featured

Google must be feeling screwgled by Microsoft’s endless mocking, with the “magic of software” mavens making hay over Google’s non-gregarious groping of your digital data and online life through hilarious new anti-Google Microsoft merchandise.

As you can see from the image above, Microsoft really hates Google. It hates Google so, so much, that it seeks to make money from anti-Google merchandise bearing boorish slogans stating statements along the lines of “Keep calm while Google steals your data”.

Although Microsoft itself no doubt “steals” as much data as it can from users of its Bing search engine, Windows operating systems, Windows hardware and more, the mighty Microsoft sees merit in mauling Google as garishly as possible.

After all, given Google’s rise from back-rubbing page ranker to back-stabbing data stealer and privacy pincher – much of which has been at Microsoft’s expense – it’s easy to see why Microsoft is mad.

So, while Microsoft tries valiantly to make a better Bing, while it tries to wake up Windows 8.1 sales, while it tries to promote its phones, while it tries to send Surface sales into the stratosphere, while it tries to excite Xbox sales, Microsoft is also engaging in guerrilla anti-Google marketing.

Microsoft is, of course, no stranger to such marketing attempts, having been at the receiving end of similar-style statements from Apple over many years.

An Apple T-Shirt a friend purchased for me from Apple’s Californian campus a few years ago states that Cupertino is 859 miles and 180 degrees from Redmond, while we’ve all heard Apple’s taunt that Microsoft needs to fire up the photocopiers in Redmond once more.

Of course, back in those days, Apple’s money making was a mere drop in the bucket compared to the mega-millions Microsoft was making.

While Apple is a vastly stronger competitor today than it ever was, Google’s gargantuan gorilla-like gumption has been an even greater eye-gouging threat to Microsoft, thanks to all those cheap Androids and Chromebooks that simply didn’t exist just a few short years ago.  

So… whatever you think of Microsoft’s marketing mischief making, it certainly is quite a sight to see the Microsoft attack in action.

It’s also interesting to see Google simply responding with its products and services, rather than proffering a range of prissy anti-Microsoft paraphernalia.

The Chrome browser, Chromebooks, Android and all of Google’s products serve that role already.

None of this is to excuse Google’s ever increasing overreach, in terms of prying away our privacy, or ruining beloved services such as iGoogle or Google Reader.

It’s just that, if Google wasn’t making an impact, Microsoft wouldn’t feel so compelled to mischievously market anti-Google products with so much malice.

So… if you too would like to poke some fun at Google, Microsoft’s “Scroogled Store” awaits your credit card.

We also await to see whether or not any “Microstuffed” or similar campaign emerges from Google, but somehow, as explained, we doubt it, for their entire existence is already so anti-Microsoft, which is just one of the reasons why Microsoft is so mightily miffed!

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Alex Zaharov-Reutt

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One of Australia’s best-known technology journalists and consumer tech experts, Alex has appeared in his capacity as technology expert on all of Australia’s free-to-air and pay TV networks, including stints as presenter of Ch 10’s Internet Bright Ideas, Ch 7’s Room for Improvement and tech expert on Ch 9’s Today Show, among many other news and current affairs programs.

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