Telstra has revealed the addition of almost one million new mobile services in the six months to December 2011, but Sensis revenues plummeted 24 percent in 12 months.
Those that wanted the ‘User Account Control’ (UAC) to work like it did on a Mac – only appearing when absolutely necessary, and delivering a ‘lock’ to ensure settings couldn’t be actually changed – could have it. Indeed, this ‘new’ version of UAC was dubbed ‘Universal Magical Account Control’, or UMAC.
This was probably simply in honour of the way Apple had been doing things for years with the Mac OS X. Apple even semi-threatened to sue Microsoft, but so happy were Windows users and so sudden massive were new Vista SP1 computer sales, dramatically reversing the trend for users to dump Vista and go to Mac OS X, that Apple decided suing Microsoft wasn’t the best of ideas, deciding instead that it needed to start the copiers in Cupertino to try and catch up.
Even more amazing was the news that Linus Torvalds – creator of Linux – had publicly disavowed himself from the Linux project, declared his love for Windows Vista SP1, and took up a job as Chief Software Architect Jr. under Ray Ozzie at Microsoft.
Even Miguel de Icaza’s motives for working with Microsoft had suddenly become clear: he had been one of the top-notch programmers helping bring the reliability of Linux to the Windows world, being one of the secret weapons in the battle to revolutionise Vista SP1. As a reward, he was now Chief Software Architect Mini-me Jr, and was now working directly under Torvalds and Ozzie. Together, they were the triumvirate of totally reliable computing technology.
User reports flooded in from around the world. Vista SP1 had transformed their computers as never before. Old problems disappeared. Even the Internet was much faster. Malware and viruses were effortlessly bounced by the Vista ‘force shield’ of security. Old hardware started singing under Vista SP1. Things just worked.
People started giving up their Mac OS X and Linux operating systems in droves, loading Vista SP1 instead. You couldn’t give away Linux operating systems, even though they were free, and even though Apple made Mac OS X work on any PC, and was even paying people US $50 a time to install it, no-one wanted it. Even Unix became as popular as eunuchs.
Vista SP1 was the best thing under the Sun, and for a short time, no-one could believe it. But it was true. A new day of computing had dawned. It wasn’t ‘Morning in America’, but ‘Morning in Computica’, as one pundit named it, and the Windows Vista Team, once reviled and hated by many, became celebrated as the cleverest and most highly paid programmers on Planet Earth.
Steve Jobs was known as the main who coined the term ‘think different’, but in the end, it was Bill Gates who was celebrated as the man who truly did, and the leader who, months before his departure, changed the computing world forever – again!
Disclaimer: Sadly, this alternate reality for Vista SP1 is only accessible by travelling to parallel universe #183. You can get there by travelling to Alpha-Centauri and entering Wormhole X372 at a velocity of warp 7.
David Bass
| For the fourth year in a row, IDC has placed content security provider Websense (NASDAQ: WBSN) at the top of the IDC Worldwide Web Security 2011 –…
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