Computers finally reach peak

David Swan
Thursday, 01 April 2010 09:11

IT Industry - Development

After far too many years of upgrades, changes, and optimization, it's finally happened. Computers have reached their peak.

In 1899, a US Patent Commissioner reportedly said "Everything that can be invented has been invented." There was a similar notion yesterday when IBM CEO Samuel J. Palmisano announced at a shock press conference, "We've done everything that could possibly have been done.

"What more could anyone possibly need to do with their computer? All anyone wants to do is go on Facebook, anyway.

"Personally I think we should have stopped at two gigahertz, but the fact that we have computers with three and four gigahertz is quite ridiculous. People don't need an extra gigahertz just to post their Twitter updates."

There is already much concern over the future of employees of technology companies, however most are expected to go into public speaking or modelling. All future computer conferences and expos have been cancelled and instead have been replaced with giant LAN parties.

Apple released a comment saying it has known this for years, and has simply been releasing the same product with a sleeker metal finish and cooler television advertisements.

Stephen Conroy has also released a statement, although it had to be censored.